i should marry a man of letters

thoughts on the before <insert period of the day> film franchise..and a bunch of seemingly out of topic side notes.

after more than a year, i have finally forgiven the writers enough to watch before midnight in its entirety. a condensed version of the plot from the whole franchise goes like this: (before sunrise) a french student, celine, and an american budding writer, jesse, met and struck on an interesting conversation while on a train bound for france. when the train stopped in vienna, jesse somehow convinced celine to hop off the train and keep him company for the rest of the night before he boards his flight home the following day. the next morning they both said their goodbyes, didn't exchange contact details for the heck of it, but promised to meet again in the same place in six months. apparently that meeting never happened because (before sunset) ten years later jesse was already a published author and was promoting his book in paris when celine read about him and decided to seek him out. and so they spent the rest of the day catching up and finally ends with a subtle suggestion that jesse might miss his flight home if they spend another moment more together.

now i like how compatible they are to each other and persons like that, those whose way of thinking complements yours, are exceedingly rare. as a concerned audience i would have wanted for them to end up together, of course, but the sad thing is, jesse was already married with a son that day they met again in paris. and however regretful it would be that their love story should have a tragic ending, i wanted to believe jesse got on that plane back to new york on time because my personal values say, no to infidelity! haha.

apparently, again, i do not share the same values with the writers because a few minutes into before midnight we get introduced to, tadaaa, their twins. tsk. i was so frustrated i refused to watch it until now, hahaha. but to be fair this is fiction, after all, and not a documentary. and in order to sell, their conversations have to be interesting. and conversations between couples would have the advantage of wider diversity of topics, depth, and intimacy than conversations between friends. nevertheless, it does depict how separation is a seemingly common western value which brings me lesson number one, do not carelessly fall in love with americans. i'm cutting europeans some slack because i read somewhere that spanish, greeks, and italians are mostly family-centered. as for the belgians, i've seen a fair amount of really old couples walking hand-in-hand or doing stuff together and i'll give them the benefit of the doubt and assume they have always been married to each other. ha.

anyway, i really am impressed at how the conversations flow seamlessly it doesn't feel scripted at all. i enjoyed the conversation about the idea of a new novel with characters with brain abnormalities, except i think it would be better that some major event should bring them all together and not something like going to watch a movie. that sort of plot sounds familiar, though, but i can't recall from what film. seems like a filipino movie but i can't place my finger on it. anyway, personally i think that group of characters would be much interesting for suspense rather than drama. but then again jesse seems to be the drama, hopeless romantic kind of person so we'll leave it at that. anyhow, it's the banter of ideas which excited me. i enjoyed the conversation around the dinner table - how to keep a man? let them win at all the silly games, haha. if that's true then that probably explains why i'm single ;P then i really like the part with the sunset, because who doesn't like a good sunset.

still there. still there. still there. gone.

the thing is, i'm actually writing this while the movie progresses and..bed scene! with boobs and stuff.. i'm turning 26 and i still look away..and wash the dishes while i'm at it. OA, ish, grow up :P

moving on, they had a domestic which brought about some points that resonated with me, in no particular order:

1. there was this moment when jesse asked the specific question "do you think hank's life would be better served by a more consistent presence from you and me?". and celine answered yes, followed by a passionate grievance against his ex-wife. the point i'm trying to make is that i believe it's true that everything in a woman's life is a series of connected dots. or connected bubbles like a bubble chart - hank is not just hank, he's a bubble associated to ex-wife, which connects back to jesse, or by multiple association may be even connected to the war in the middle east.
2. in an argument with intimate friends, women do have the tendency to make completely irrational responses and, more often than not, we realize that mistake the moment it's made. but in the context of a heated, fast-paced argument, i doubt anyone would apologize there and then.
3. i agree on jesse's thought on perpetual discontent being a natural human state. in many things contentment seems so fleeting which translates to why we feel happiness is very elusive.
4. the (excessive) reading between the lines. ha, i'm not alone! maybe *tooot* was wise after all to seal his mouth shut whenever we argue (okay, "argue") so there'd be nothing to interpret but, seriously, the silence only fuels my irritation and summons my inner devil. i feel there should at least be an exchange of ideas or else nothing gets solved. and, see, nothing ever got solved.
5. "women explore for eternity in the vast garden of sacrifice"
6. she made a good point about most women being hard-wired to be nurturers; putting others needs above her own, suppressing the desire to talk about her own problems when she feels the other person has it worse, etc. and in her case it came at the expense of self-care, which jesse eventually pointed out. because of that, in that particular quarrel, she was exhausting. 
7. how they made up was really sweet though, which gives me the idea, i should marry a writer. hihi. i should add that to THE list. sometime last year i was thinking that the moment i fall in love with someone i would find everything about him to be perfect and everything he does would be cute no matter how absurd. so while my wits are still about me i figured it would be fun and a good idea to write down a list of values and qualities i actually find attractive in a person, superficial or otherwise. i did have really superficial ones like "still taller than me even when i'm wearing heels", hahaha, but like i said it's just for a little bit of fun.
8. cohabitation as opposed to marriage?

all in all, as with the previous two, i enjoyed the film and i still couldn't get over how seemingly natural the conversations keep flowing. it is well-written and well cast.

before sunrise touched on the worries of the young, on childhood, on parents' influence on their being, on the kind of things you think about while still finding yourself, on idealism and that feeling of being able to conquer the world, on being able to still believe in the magic of falling in love. before sunset had a more mature tone to it. it's a conversation tainted by ten years of experience, of seeing the reality that changing the world is harder than you thought, on aging, politics, actual plans that are practical and achievable, relationships and regrets. i think regret was the driving emotion in the second movie. finally, before midnight presents the mundane things that happens in the life of an average 40-year old, the conflicts that arises in a family, raising kids, career advancement, issues experienced by working moms or women in the workforce, in general, those kind of stuff.

in many ways it's a study on people and touched on multiple facets of the human emotion, relationship, and life. i do wonder if they might make another sequel, say, 20 years from now when the kids are all grown up and have left home and they find themselves alone with each other again. that would make an interesting conversation, and they'll call it before siesta because, you know, they would be old and all and they get tired easily. haha.

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