tsk

Warning: Is it absolutely necessary to beat yourself up today?

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Today, after only a few short months of "emotional stability", I  feel like I'm starting to spiral in on myself once again. It's like a black hole has opened inside my soul and it's slowly sucking everything in, my happiness, my attitude, my outlook, my optimism, my desire to live and make a difference. 

What happened? I don't know. But I think sending my friends off at the station has triggered something: the reopening of the realization that everything is volatile. Everything changes, everyone leaves at some point, and in the end, I will always be alone.

This cannot continue. Which is why I have to get this depressed little butt off this desk and drag myself somewhere else tonight. I'm thinking the game night hosted by the Pastoral Center Gent. 

Lord, help, please?

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