reinventing beauty pageants

i was talking with my brother who just spent a part of his afternoon diving through my old records looking for my physics notes and he uncovered one of documents i have meticulously put away from my time as a KASAMA under-secretary. the KASAMA, kataas-taasang samahan ng mga mag-aaral, is the highest governing student body of the university. in turn, the university presidents vote among themselves who would be the student representative in the university system's board of directors, with the same voting power as the president of the philippines. but my story is not about KASAMA. let's talk beauty pageants.

i belong to a family of conservatives when it comes to beauty pageants. not extremists, but my parents do frown at beauty pageants and modelling all the same. their rationale behind it is, of course, understandable: why on earth would you walk down the ramp in skimpy clothes or your underwear for everyone to see? a boost in confidence for the price of having boys ogle at you? i guess you could say we were taught early on that there's more to beauty than outward appearance. we were allowed to host any and all kinds of events, though, where we still get to wear pretty gowns and fix our hair. anyway, i do not discriminate against beauty queens and beauty queen wanna-be's but, yes, i agree with my parents when they say romping around in your underwear is pointless.

this got me thinking about the ultimate purpose of the mr. and ms. palakasan, the palakasan being our university-wide sports fest. as with most other pageants, the objective is in discovering a person who could best represent a community. beauty queens get to represent their community in formal functions, host events, or even get to talk with dignitaries. and i thought, iit is an academic institution. we're supposed to pride ourselves with our academic achievements, why should our representative be chosen only based on outward appearances?

and so we proposed major amendments to the university's beauty pageant, patterned after the aylc selection process:

(1) candidates must be recommended by their professors;
(2) candidates must not have failed a course during the immediately preceding semester;
(3) candidates must submit a short essay about why she would like to join the competition;
(4) an interview must be performed separate from the awards night q&a where the questions will test how well the candidate knows msu-iit. questions may be about the university hymn, a brief history of the university, a brief history of her college, an overview of the university's cultural or sports groups, perhaps the names of important personalities (at least, the chancellor);
(5) model a malong down the runway (this is a totally unoriginal idea, my mom said they have been doing this in marawi, hehe. but, hey, nice idea, riiiight? :D we did it once in high school, my sister and i were hosting some event in school and we went in malong gowns. needless to say, we won the best dressed side award :P i have a copy of the photo here somewhere, i'll attach it when i find it.)

and etc, among others. all these on top of walking the runway in fancy costumes and a talent show, although a talent show would not be necessary.

i believed, from the amendments we proposed, that we would be able to have much more meaningful beauty pageants in the university. by this screening process we would have been able to discover a beautiful, intelligent, and articulate student we can be proud to call a representative of our university.

we had prepared everything from the process details to the application forms. it has even gone as far as going through reviews by the college student bodies, but it never pushed through. our term ended but we did leave a complete compilation of that idea in the office but is probably long lost by now. i suppose the requirements were a bit too rigid. maybe it IS a lot easier to just pick out the prettiest girl on campus and have her strut her stuff down the runway.

i am truly amazed at what they can do, really i am, but i would be even more amazed if they are like ma'am bevs, who was a student at the time, studying physics, doing her thesis, deans-lister, ipag dancer, member of the university volleyball varsity, and eventually graduated magna cum laude. she won ms. palakasan 2004 (or 2005?). i'd let her represent me anytime!

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trivia: pope

pope benedict xvi was actually the head of the commission responsible for the creation of the catechism of the catholic church!

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data dump 05/11/15

okay, here's the deal. there's so much going on in my head the past few days yet everyone else is pretty busy with their lives at the moment so i never really get to talk these over in depth with actual people, which is why before my mind gets too saturated, i better get them out. otherwise, the dead zone would be terribly long. to be honest, all of these belong to the personal matters category because it's the hardest ones to decide on, contain, make sense of, or forget, thereby they're usually the ones that are kept the longest in short term memory. and they're emotionally draining, ugh! academic and technical matters are the "easiest" to solve (except getting the cisco vpn to work on windows 10) because..i dunno..they just are, and they don't take up much emotional ram. thank God for science. so, data dump..

carmelite

i met kuya joel one sunday mass about a month ago. he's from nueva ecija and doing a phd on food technology specializing in cocoa. from what i understand, he'd like to work on a technology to produce belgian-grade chocolates from philippine-produced cocoa, which is awesome!

anyway, he's also very active in church. he plays the organ, he goes to non-sunday church functions, he knows the priests personally..basically he knows a lot of people. oh, he actually did his masters here a few years ago too which could explain a lot. he told me about the holy hour on wednesday evenings at the carmelite church somewhere in the city center so i promised to drop by.

as a portal, i have captured and re-captured the church countless number of times but last night was the first time i've ever been inside - and it is beautiful!

after holy hour kuya joel introduced us (hyzel was also there) to a lot of people - regular holy hour-goers like genevie and family, the girl who sings in the choir, sara, and there's william who also heads the english eucharists' choir, and father lucas. and, believe it or not, it was only last night that i learned there's actually a carmelite order of priests! it's really not that big a deal, it's not life-changing or anything, it's just that my mom, if she had not decided to get married, would have joined the carmelite order of nuns. that in mind, i should have been aware about the carmelite order of priests too, haha. 

anyway..

..they have priests!

hahaha. the technicalities of the catholic faith is not my expertise anyway. it's actually my mom who knows about these things and by mutual, unspoken consent, the rest of the family mostly leaves the technical, religious matters to her. she plans, we support, that's how it goes :P also, it's just how we're brought up - priests are priests, and knowing the who's who in the organization does not make you a better christian. 

we chanced on a skype date with my parents when i got home and i told my mom about the carmelite order and she said, of course there is (haha). and that there are actually two types of carmelites, the saint therese of lisieux and the st. theresa of avila, and the lisieux one is semi-contemplative. that said, fr. lucas and the priests running this carmelite church in burgstraat must be from the avila group since we get to talk to them and everything.

we knew my mom would have joined the lisieux carmelite order and every one of us in the family was like, contemplative? mom? seriously?? :)) since we were on the topic of religious orders anyway, i figured out it was high time to know which order my grand uncle belongs to - so lolo father is with the sacred heart. okay. after all these talk my dad asked me last night, why, do you plan on becoming a nun too? to which my sister was very quick to say, nah, doesn't suit her hahaha. sorry, Lord :))

hey, it's never too late for a calling. but, Lord, i'd rather do a lot of engineering and maybe get on the ISS, please.

family photo

so i mentioned we had a skype date with my parents. they called my sister and ken at the same time who were on vacation in portugal at the moment, so that's three timezones in one call now :D i tried to call my brother in cebu and he actually woke up for the call, haha. ever since the "grand diaspora", my brothers have been more amiable to waking up early or sleeping late for conversations like these. waking them up usually takes a long time and a minor fight in between, hahaha.

so, tadaaa! we managed to get a complete family photo!

that would be four cities, in three time zones. it would have been more cool in a few weeks since my parents will be heading to jakarta for some awarding ceremony, then it would have been five cities in one screenshot! but, anyway, this is still okay :) 

*major hilak na nanaman afterwards, huhu*

first reading
oh, and i read in church last sunday! i'm not generally fond of introducing myself so i have been the most passive church-goer you'd have ever seen the past year. i was finally invited to read and (not to brag..okay, i AM a BIT overjoyed haha) i must have done well because fr. charles said so. and the lector came up to me and said so too, and added that he'd like to make me a regular reader at church. yehey! i do miss church responsibilities ^^

internship

on a different topic, the traineeship contract is stressing me out BIG TIME. the way my department handles administrative issues is deeply frustrating, i'm more than ready to change factions T_T i love my vub! wooo! eat that, ugent :P

yes, i'm human, i need to vent too :P

ballet

i've also been looking at cultural shows in gent every now and again and they're usually quite expensive. but, hey, there's no price for experience, right? i was ready to spend on tickets to the ballet in the cinemas for december at kinepolis until i finally understood that it is only to be streamed live from the covent gardens opera. tsktsk, not good enough. good thing i looked at the vlaamse opera's website and they are producing the nutcracker this season too! and it'll be coming to gent on february! yey! who says the nutcracker is only for christmas? hehe. 

i probably need a valentines date, but more importantly, i think i need binoculars :P

i also bought tickets to the ugent symphony orchestra concert for the 1st of december. i wasn't able to watch their winter concert last year because the tickets were already sold out by the time i decided haha tsk. 

so i really don't like listing down "things i must experience before i die" because i feel it makes you discontented if you cannot cross everything out from that list, but, hey..this list doesn't look too bad:

Ballet
Broadway
Choir
Circus
Concert
Musical Theatre
Opera
Orchestra
Theatre Play

as of this writing i have already crossed out three and there's two in waiting. i think the only one that's hard to achieve is watching broadway because i need to be in the US for that. hmm, not too bad at all, lezzdodis! :D 

love letter

also, i wrote myself a love letter. i have not read it until now.

mission/vision

this..probably requires a different article by itself, haha. the point is, i have goals like everyone else but i just don't talk or write about it as much because, 

(1) they are so big they intimidate even me,
(2) they are so simple they make me reconsider what i'm currently doing with my life,

(3) talking about it gives other people unrealistic expectations of me,

(4) i don't like disappointing people,

(5) even more so, i don't like disappointing myself, and

(6) sometimes i like to surprise myself with what i can achieve.

but recently my thought process has concluded that, yeah, maybe i SHOULD write it down. so i'm  probably going to do that soon on a clean page and who cares what other people think :P

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happy wednesday!

yey! :D

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acknowledgement

if it is professionally acceptable to write the acknowledgements in a very personal way, i would have written..

For the culmination of this thesis work, and eventually the conclusion of my photonics engineering education, I would like to thank a number of people whose help has made a lot of things possible.

First, I thank my promotor, Professor Herbert De Smet, for allowing me the opportunity to do my thesis work here at the Centre for Microsystems Technology (CMST).

I would especially like to express my utmost appreciation and gratitude to my supervisor, Xiaobing Shang, for his guidance and patience throughout this study. Without his support, I would not be able to finish this work. In the beginning I was, honestly, surprised to be mentored under one so approachable and always available for consultation. My senpai during my undergraduate thesis was the complete opposite and I got used to working things out on my own, which was why, when we started, I could go for days without updates. From my time with him, I have learned not only the in's and out's of clean room processes but also the value of consultation and collaboration. Apart from his excellent mentoring, I enjoyed his company and his tireless enthusiasm when talking about his home country, politics, and international policies.

I would also like to thank my other mentors, first of all, Pankaj, for lending his expertise in all kinds of software I used during my study: COMSOL Multiphysics, Lumerical FDTD, and MatLab. For the valuable personal advice, the lunch time conversations, the endless general information trivias, For your first of many advice, "If you're in a bind, try not to overwork yourself, tell Xiaobing. If he cannot help you, at least he knows in which areas you're having a difficult time with. Otherwise, the moment you finally figure everything out, others might think oh, that was easy, how come it took you too long to figure out? You understand the point of what I'm saying?", which I couldn't forget. For overseeing my work in the optics lab, for the discussions and consultations, for knowing everything even phone numbers of the different process bays, for keeping the atmosphere light and enjoyable, for simply being awesome, thank you.

My thanks also to the rest of the gang, Bart, Andres, Kristof, and Jelle, for their valuable guidance and advice during the time I spent in CMST. I would even like to thank Philip, even though i hate the way the frequency of his voice actually resonates in my lungs and in my skull, for spicing up my time in that office. Also, a big, big thanks to Oliver for visiting Xiaobing or Pankaj every now and then. His presence is always a ray of sunshine, and his voice, music, on an otherwise normal day.

I am also grateful to old friends who have kept in touch, most of all to Kevin, who was consistently there throughout the two years I spent away from home. I am grateful to him for not making an issue our distance, for the comfort of listening to all my post-exam emotional break-down conversations, for commenting on all my poorly recorded covers, for keeping me in the loop, for the positive thoughts when I feel all too ready to give up, for knowing I'm weak and loving me still, for knowing my mistakes and the poor life and love decisions that I've made yet never putting me down, for trusting me even when I doubt myself, for talking to me just because, for seeing my huge potential for self-destruction and keeping me sane and, well, alive, thank you.

To Kuya Em, for checking on me now and again, for the conversations about anything and everything, for listening to me complain about Philip (haha), thank you.

I would also like to thank Tj for a number of reasons: for taking the time to get me important papers published in japanese journals, for getting to my requests quickly, for the advice and the suggestions and for bouncing back ideas to me, for taking the time to help me decide a lot of things, for talking me out of loneliness that one time, for helping me make sense of symmetries and capacitors and all other things. Basically, for all the free consultation and various professional help, thank you very much.

My sincere thanks to my fellow master students, whom I can proudly call my friends, for looking out for me, for sharing their time and ideas, and shared memories with me throughout the course of the program. To Xiaofeng who said she looks at me like a sister, thank you for the kind words, the help you've extended when I was stuck with my analysis, for the lunch picnics and football during the summer, for the zumba sessions, thank you. To Ali, my birthday-mate whom I've corresponded even before starting the program, thank you for eavesdropping on my behalf, haha. To Boyang and Yuting, my first and recurring lab mates, I couldn't have done all those things without your cooperation and trust. To Jake, for teaching me how to skate. To Xiaomin, Xiaoning, Kefang, Bai Song, for the friendship. To Floris, for helping me through the electronics lab when I got totally lost with my SPICE. To Nicholas, for being the best lab partner. EVER. And to all the others I've been with for only a sem or two, thank you.

Most of all, I would like to thank my parents and my family for always having my back. Their unconditional support have continuously encouraged me during my studies. In particular I am forever grateful to my sister for her unparalleled moral support not only during this chapter of my life, but for all my life, really. For encouraging me to press on, for being the only one who understood how difficult things were even when I have never explained my situation in detail, for crying harder whenever I cry, for listening when I try to explain things I didn't even understand completely myself, for all the advice on how to survive the cold and the gloom, for allowing me to raid her vanity kit whenever we meet, for constantly worrying over my face and hydration, for being my constant connection to my family, for being the shield whenever I need the space and quiet, I cannot thank her enough. I have always wanted an older brother, but if it comes at the cost of replacing her, I wouldn't do it for the world.

Ailee Trinidad,

Ghent 2015

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BCD

I suppose if you're walking randomly across the street and you call out "BCD!", you'd know that any person who'd understand was once an IDS student. Who doesn't know BCD? What is actually an abbreviation of "Beautification and Cleanliness Drive" has transformed into a very commonly used verb just like when you say 'google it up'. Mag-BCD na ko bai. Hala, ma-BCD jud ka ana! Every school rule you broke, every time you were late for class, every time you hide your ID in your chest pocket, every mischief you've done, is another bar on your BCD record and pretty much determines how long you'll be staying in campus during the summer break weeding gardens, planting durantas, and slaving away under the heat of the sun until the unyielding, OC head disciplinarian finds your results to her satisfaction.

And we all have one person to thank for it - Ma'am Tuanda.

Being sent to Ma'am Tuanda's office was worse than being sent to the principal (not even close). And getting her approval for activities is almost as bad as going to the university DSA. Nevertheless, Ma'am Tuanda and her BCDs have always been one of the most trending topics during breaks: how she caught someone breaking school rules, how "unfair" BCDs are and "why is the school even tolerating this?!", and, of course, the random clump of hair on the hallway because someone refused to cut their hair short and you know, Ma'am Tuanda strikes again! (uso man gud ang F4 atong panahona, haha). Comparing how the BCD was warranted was as interesting as gossiping about puppy love and it goes without saying that the higher the number of BCDs per offense, the more interesting the story behind is.

But then again, everyone more or less follows the same relationship development with our dear Ma'am Tuanda. As freshmen you get told by your upperclassmen to never EVER cross her at your life's expense, and so you start off your first year by avoiding her at all cost. By the second year you've grown accustomed to the IDS life, your punctuality starts to slack off, and you start receiving your fair share of BCDs. Aside from fearing her, there's also a hint of loathing towards her for giving you more BCDs than you think you deserve. Juniors, and you're well past initiation. You're a full-blown IDS scholar, actively taking more and more responsibilities for all your extra-curricular activities and your voice regarding school issues is more important than ever. You feel like you own the school, but then again, you always get reminded you don't own her. This time, you find another reason to loathe her and her extremely conservative decisions. Organizing events get very difficult, passing new laws becomes hell, all because every paper has to pass through her desk..and if you don't smile enough you'll never get any of those signed. But the senior year, ah, the senior year is another story. She handles your El Filibusterismo class, and while you were all ridiculously quiet and attentive at the start of the school year, you were actively participating and laughing your head off without constraint at the end. You get to know her more personally and you start to understand why she does things. Like how we all had a laugh when she gave Marvin BCDs for being late when she didn't let him carpool because it's not genteel for a woman to be riding with a man alone, nevermind that he's openly gay. All those involvement with university affairs means you have to spend more time with her too. Her office is not so bad anymore, it's even starting to feel homey. You finally greet her in the hallway with a most sincere "good morning, Ma'am!" and thank the heavens Ma'am Tuanda exists just the way she is. By graduation you've forgiven her for all the hard work she made you do during BCDs and thanking her for keeping you on your toes all throughout high school.

Personally, she's been more of a counselor to me than our appointed guidance counselor has ever been. We still see each other during college and see a little less of each other afterwards. But every time I feel like walking walking down memory lane, the path always leads me to the old, familiar student affairs office she shares with another of my favorite teacher. All those years we spent together and she'd still call me "Aleli" and ask how I'm doing and encourage me to do my masters. 

Ma'am Tuanda, I've always looked forward to the day I could go back and finally tell you, I did it! And you'll be happy and proud of me just like you've always been. I guess I'll be saying it now in front of your grave, with flowers instead of chocolates for pasalubong. And you won't be able to tell me things like "oh, you broke up? That's okay, don't let it get you down too much" anymore in your trademark raspy voice, or "Aleli, nanambok man ka!" then serve me suman.

I know the legacy of your BCD will live on, but for the generations who went through IDS under your tutelage, we can definitely say, you have brought an entire era with you to your grave and things will be totally different now.

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#pinoypride

d di pwede patudlo? ahehe or prefer ka sariling sikap? ahehe #pinoypride #labanpinoy

bullseye! samukaaaaaaa! hahahahahahahahahaha.

#sarilingsikap

hahaha.

but, really, i DO ask for help..after a few sleepless nights. haha. it's even on my lessons learned list after evaluating my first semester, ほら.

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geminids

it's been rainy and overcast for days but tonight the skies have cleared. outside her window, orion sits just above the rooftop of the next house in the block. to the left, gemini has never been too bright and the city lights on the horizon blurred them even more. she tilted her phone a little more to the left and waited for google to map out the skies in front of her. there. gemini should be somewhere there.

donning on her winter coat and the warmest scarf and hat she could find, she stepped out her window into the neighbor's rooftop and the chilly midnight air.

and one by one, as her eyes adjusted to the dark, she sees them - pieces of rocks burning their way into the earth leaving short trails of light behind. beautiful. romantic, she remembered him saying not too long ago about watching falling stars. camping..would be more romantic, she countered haha. 

they both are.

romantic or not, in that fraction of a second before that streak of light disappeared, she thought about how much she missed picking up her phone and mindlessly fill him in on such a mundane activity such as getting herself chilled outdoors while watching suicidal pieces of rocks dive through the atmosphere. she wondered if he misses her too. yet she knew the answer somehow: no. occasionally, yes, with occasions spanning a few weeks to a few months or when he's bored in transit.

meteor showers are beautiful, she thought. but now they're associated to someone who's been very efficient at making her feel lonely. beautiful but lonely.

clearest photo of the geminids i could possibly take.

::

i'm sorry :(

i guess if there's one thing i'm really good at, it's pushing away the persons i love most.

perhaps it's caution, perhaps it's intuition, perhaps it's a result of lessons learned. perhaps you're doing what you can to maintain a respectable distance but this dance, this coming together and moving away over and over again, has to stop, right? perhaps i really am just trying to do right by my friends by keeping myself, and you, from crossing the line.

i don't know.

i'm sorry.

::

it's a bulgarian bagpipe and persian santur kind of evening

welcome to abbas' birthday dinner, where the celebrant is iranian; the cook, pakistani; the wine, italian; the music, bulgarian; and the people and range of topics, just, international.

the abas and the abbas.

the curried chicken and the fried chicken. hahaha. my photos are twins.

and music?

bulgarian bagpipes
persian santur

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rooooomiiiiies!

i am SO overjoyed with my room mates. you have no idea how amazing it feels to describe what you're currently working on and actually have someone (out of the lab) understand the whole PRINCIPLE! ward, you're the man! perhaps i really should surround myself with more and more engineers if it makes explaining things a whole lot easier. but, then again, i'd rather not so i could also have variety haha.

either way, i'm still so happy they all had a grasp of what my beam-steering device is all about *tears of joy*

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bus 47

::

erwin

prof. dr. ir. bosman.

how to keep yourself awake throughout a coffee-deprived afternoon lecture. and, yes, his eyebrows do that when he's trying to make a point.

::

chris

my room mate, chris, is an interesting soul, a kindred spirit. he's from holland, doing his first bachelor in veterinary medicine, has a 14-year old sister, and the third of the five other room mates i met on my first week in this apartment. he's really friendly, talkative, animated, and is pretty meticulous when it comes to cleanliness we've been laughing all dinner long about him finally being able to throw away the unclaimed shampoo bottle in the shower and the unusable teflon pan under the kitchen sink. he's one of my dutch mentors, the others being the rest of my room mates haha, though they're mostly teaching me dutch dutch and not flemish. with his personality i'm sure he'll go a long way and i'm glad he was around tonight to be my guinea pig for the first menudo i cooked over here :)

::

a roll of tissue a day keeps the booger monsters away

ladies and gentlemen, let's all cheer for nosey who's been running a marathon since yesterday! forgive her for being a little slow because she's dragging fever, headache, sore throat, and all kinds of body aches along with her. gah, pamper me, pleaaase! on the brighter side, running a fever is the perfect excuse to wear winter clothes on a 20 degree weather.

arf!

..and roll in bed for the whole day. not very exciting when your skull feels like cracking, but still.
..and eat anything i want so i could, you know, regain my strength and all :P
..and try out new apps like this photo editor which can do doodles. xperia's own photo editor had the doodle feature before but it's no longer in their latest update. bad move, sony, bad move :P

..and rediscover stuff on my phone, like this one, haha.

there's no time stamp but written probably around the end of may if i haven't figured out how to get the receiver sensitivity yet. the professor didn't have major comments on the project so i believe we did okay. o, ha! quite proud of it, actually. his only question was why the sensitivity we mentioned was about 0.15 dB different from the figure presented. while, yes, it could be that we decided to be a little conservative with the estimate to ensure a lower BER, the real reason was actually less dramatic, that is, we missed updating the figure after the final optimization change. bug! to think it even passed unnoticed through virginie's reviews. OC, that one, i tell you. even her notes are immaculate. REPORT

..and watch a mowbee!
..and get miserable over the fact that the recent solar flare did not produce the aurora borealis i was expecting over belgium T_T nobody really prays for solar storms to happen but i hope we get another huge one within next year. just huge enough to incite an aurora over here again, please, i don't want to feel too responsible for the end of the world.

::

itinerary, anyone?

this is how we plan, haha.

ate: let's include a trip to versailles?

me: oooh! that's where the chateau d'if is diba from the count of monte cristo?

ate: no, that was marseille. 

me: oh, was it? oookay. write it down anyway :) remember a tale of two cities and the storming of the bastille? the bastille is in paris :D

ate: the bastille! ooooooh, let's!  

ken: where? 

ate: it's this old state prison in france. <short history of the storming of the bastille, bla, bla> hehe. so, next stop, moulin rouge? 

ate & me: ♪ giuchie, giuchie, ya ya dada ♪

hahaha. thank God for sisters who don't find me weird for marking references to stories nor for singing spontaneously. or we're our own kind of weird, all worked up and giggling giddily on skype over scarves and mona lisas and edmond dantes.

looking forward to visiting the red light district..in the name of culture :))

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sundate

brothers, on palakasan-mode and vl-mode.

nothing could ruin one's sunday morning so perfectly than your dad telling you, "so, sweet, are you coming? we're getting ready na to eat out at gerry's grill tonight", together with miko saying, "libre ni kuyaaa!"

kuyog kooo (sigh) ang muhilak, pangit.. T_T

::

sthqe

posted by sir raud! amazing how this is still around even after 10 years haha. but since it's sir raud then it's certainly not impossible. he dates and files everything he does, even his document templates have versions! sometimes i imagine he must have rows and cabinets of file folders in his study at home.

amazing. he was (and i believe, is still) fond of throwing random trivia in during class like what's under the flagpole or what is the predecessor of toothbrushes or what was the current (at that time) innovation to the lollipop stick..yup, like i said, random, haha. he was one of those who encouraged discussions during class which i didn't like because, let's face it, i preferred daydreaming and taking notes over being present in class haha. the subject was supposed to prepare as well as inspire us to do research work, and while sir raud wasn't terrifying nor strict to a fault, i somehow still ended up hating the subject. i hated it so much i told myself i'm NEVER going to do research of any kind EVER again. then i went ahead and took up physics in college hahaha..but that's a different story.

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senior prom

i was looking at at this picture during my senior year prom night and, thinking back, i can actually vividly recall only two things: (1) maureen was extremely hyper active that night she managed to snap the cord of her gown - twice! hahaha, and (2) my favorite teacher was running a fever that day but he came anyway even if he was late. i somehow felt responsible because we had been exchanging messages that day and i must have sounded thoroughly disappointed when i learned he might not be able to go. amid telling him to rest and all that, though i meant it with all sincerity, i was practically begging him to please just go even though i know it was pretty selfish of me. well, he went. and i was so relieved and happy i wanted to just leave my seat and go where he was but in the end all i did was smile at him from across the dance floor to acknowledge his presence. i didn't even go anywhere near his vicinity during the rest of the evening. torpe, haha. he was my volleyball coach and military dad rolled into one, slathered with a decent serving of kindness and empathy. no wonder his pet name by all students is daddy yabu. also, he's the only person in the whole wide world to call me lee, and i prefer it remain that way :">

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i think i'm drunk haha

prof. gunther was around for a while in the morning. andreas was also around for the whole day but apparently he has a girlfriend. tsktsk. i'm still allowed to like him, though, yes? but that's not why i'm drunk. haha.

we had a mini joyride with floris to het pand where the gala dinner was held. and since we arrived 30 minutes early, he treated us to a beer at his friend's bar. so we lounged for a while with satadal in front of the leiss river and just enjoyed the wonderful gent afternoon. we've been enjoying a very good weather for the duration of the summer school and i hope it will still be as good tomorrow.

anyway, floris bought us beer and apparently he suggested one with relatively high alcohol content for me. i couldn't even remember the name. during dinner they served wine then another wine then champagne. haha. soooo i think i'm..maybe not exactly drunk..tipsy. and now it's 11pm and i still need to get back to brussels and wake up early tomorrow to catch the train back here to gent. haha. i can HARDLY wait for this week to end and i am TERRIBLY tired. goodness!

i was at a table with a group of friends, some phd students and gordon, from some company in the UK, and we talked about culture and research and industry trends and how to differentiate wines and a lot of other stuff. xinyu asked about my plans after masteral and when i mentioned i'm also considering getting a phd, he was pretty surprised and said - but phd takes a long time and a lot of effort, shouldn't you get married first? hahahahahahaha. yeah thanks for the concern, but i should get a boyfriend first, though, haha.

but then again, according to him apparently a lot of the chinese phd students here found me really pretty compared to filipino celebrities, take note - celebrities, haha which is reaaaally surprising hahaha, so that's good news i suppose hahahah.

i laugh too much..i must be really tipsy..

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